Is the Fear of Success Holding You Back?
(How to Breakthrough the Poppy Syndrome)
Is the Fear of Success Holding You Back?
(How to Breakthrough the Poppy Syndrome)
Hello everyone, its Lisa J. here and welcome to another edition of Build Your Belief!
Today, I want to talk to you about the Poppy Syndrome. If you are from New Zealand or many parts of Europe there is a saying called the poppy syndrome and what it alludes to is when you get too successful people will come over and chop you down like a tall poppy.
And I had this truth shared with me from one of my clients who just received a very high-end job and in that high-end position the first person she wanted to share it with was her parents so she called them and her mom’s response was this, “Oh, I’m so happy for you and so excited for that you got that job, but oh my gosh how is that going to land for your sister? I feel so bad for your sister that she’s going to feel like she’s…” and fill in the blank. And the mom actually proceeded to tell my client to be careful to not get too successful, as it might be competitive or a realm of competition for her sister.
Wow, that’s the poppy syndrome. And I don’t know if it’s tradition, I don’t know if it’s just mindset in family, I don’t know if it’s generational, but this is a reality for a lot of people that they think, “Oh, I can’t be too successful because I’ll hurt somebody else.”
What a limiting belief, so instead of seeing it that celebrating someone’s success the person will feel jealous or not enough or,
“Oh, they got the good promotion, so there’s no good promotion for me.”
“Oh, he found the love of his life, so love doesn’t exist for me.”
Like we live in a world of limitation? No. There is an unlimited supply my friend and when you can start owning the space of when I win, everyone wins.
When I get a promotion at work that gives my family, my siblings, my friends, my colleagues the vision of what’s possible for them. And I’m not talking about the person who just kind of flaunts it in your face; I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about somebody who has a goal, sets a goal, achieves the goal, and can experience that level of success.
So, don’t ever be the person to put a blanket on your success or to hide your celebration or your success.
When you win, everyone wins. You are the reason, your example could be the reason that your sibling steps up and decides to risk as well, or follow their dreams as well.
And it is not your responsibility, my friend, to feel the burden of your success in that poppy syndrome conversation.
And the last part of this – I experienced this last year, today is the anniversary of the Paradise Fire. Yeah, November 8th, 2018. Today’s November 8th, 2019 so we’re heading up to Paradise right now, my family and I. In fact, I’m standing in front of their new home in Chico, California. They never really wanted to live in Chico, but now they do and they are grateful for what they have. Now does that mean that they take away from other people who are still suffering and who are dealing with PTSD possibly or just the loss of a loved one. 85 souls died in that fire.
It doesn’t take away from the grieving of another one when you feel grateful for your healing or grateful for your blessing of a new home. Do you hear that my friends? So, never apologize for your blessings or your level of happiness, your level of success, not in a way of flaunting it, but in a way of gratitude.
When I win, everyone wins, and in that vibration, in that space you are a great contribution, your success is a great contribution. Your blessings are an example of God’s goodness.
So last year, Jeff and I flew out to Lake Almanor and we had a party for my sister-in-law Marissa. And I brought champagne and I brought balloons, and I posted it on Facebook three days after the fire I had a friend reach out to me and said, “Lisa, you’re incredibly insensitive. How rude of you to be celebrating at a time of this with so many people hurting.” And I’ll tell you when I saw that post it hurt me. It hurt me to the core, because I’m like, “Oh my gosh, am I hurting others, because my family feels grateful to be alive?” Because my family is celebrating Marissa’s birthday and believe me Marissa did not want to celebrate her birthday. She had just lost her home, she was in shock, people died, but I didn’t apologize for that. And I didn’t, what’s the word, you guys, just to the best of our ability, my whole family we did not dim our light, we did not dim our gratitude for being alive and for celebrating Marissa’s birthday and for celebrating the reality that we’re safe and we’re alive.
It doesn’t take away from the person who lost their life in that fire, it doesn’t take away from the person who is still grieving to this day one year later for you to be successful or for you to feel happy, or for you to feel grateful or fulfilled.
So, today’s message is about owning your responsibility for success. Owning your responsibility for happiness and do not allow the poppy syndrome to dim your light or to stop you from creating or causing happiness, your goals fulfilled, a level of success, your celebration.
Yes, in a balance and with a heart of contribution and understanding other people that—hey, people are suffering still and if they don’t want to go to Paradise celebrations today or the Paradise memorials today, we honor that. You honor that. No judgment here, but then they shouldn’t be judging me as well. Right? Let’s usher in this new realm of no judgment. Everyone’s at a place of wherever they’re at and we can accept that. And don’t put a damper on your happiness or your celebration or your success and really stamp out this poppy syndrome mentality. It’s got to go, because when you win, everyone wins.
That’s my message for today. We’re heading up to Paradise now to yes, grieve with those who are grieving. Yes, stand beside those who are suffering. And yes, celebrate with those who are celebrating life.